EXTENDED FAMILY FOR KIDS PROGRAM SUMMARY
Session 1 – What’s Your Story?
Feelings of shame and embarrassment about having a family member in the prison system often stifle social development in our youth. This session offers lighthearted activities and brainstorming to help each student feel comfortable talking about the fact that he or she has a family member who is incarcerated. The “It’s All About Me” questionnaire gives the students an opportunity to share details of their lives as they are today as well as hopes for the future.
Session 2 – Who’s to Blame?
Often times, children tend to blame themselves for family problems. This session confronts the idea of blaming, through a series of activities and discussions. It is designed to help students understand that the family member is incarcerated because of choices and mistakes made by that person, and not because of something the student did or did not do. Previous Extended Family for Kids students have reported that this session was the most important to them, because for the first time they understood, “It’s not our fault.”
Session 3 – You Are Not Alone
A guest speaker is provided, who chats with the group about his experience of having a family member incarcerated during his childhood, and about how he made it through the chaos, successfully. A question and answer time between the students and the guest speaker encourages further connection. The Extended Family for Kids Manual provides suggestions to Program Leaders as to how to locate a guest speaker of this nature, along with some guidance for the speaker’s presentation.
Session 4 – We Don’t Have to Do Their Time
In families of the incarcerated, grown-ups and kids may feel like they are “doing time” along with the inmate. The group discusses examples of ways they feel like they are “doing time” along with the incarcerated loved one, and then develop healthy ways for changing those behaviors. One student, who was particularly effected by this session, commented that he would remember the lesson by telling himself and others, “If you didn’t do the crime, don’t do their time!”
Session 5 – COPS!
Many children have seen a family member being arrested, and subsequently, have developed a fear of law enforcement officials. In helping to alleviate these fears, children are asked to talk about these experiences, or about what they have seen on TV. They write down questions they would like to ask an officer, depositing them in a question box. A surprise guest – a police officer – is brought into the room to talk about his or her job, family life, pets, and hobbies, and to answer questions that have been submitted. This session is designed to humanize officers and to assist students in developing a respectful attitude toward them.
Session 6 – Can You Keep A Secret?
Students are taught a new way of resolving their anger through an almost “secret” tool called The Emotional Continuum. The purpose is to help students recognize the progression of negative emotions, which ultimately may lead to harming others or oneself. Communication skills are role-played, so individuals can practice healthy, effective ways to deal with difficult situations. Students are encouraged to “keep the secret” by continuing to practice good communication, using The Emotional Continuum approach.
Session 7 – Stress Busters
Youth experience numerous stresses in their lives: schoolwork, parents’ divorce, a family member in prison, peer pressure, exposure to drugs and alcohol, etc. The physical, mental, and emotional effects of stress are explored through various means, along with fourteen Stress Busters - ways to relieve the pressures and tensions that accumulate. An extra spotlight on the holidays and special occasions (without the incarcerated loved one at home to celebrate with) provides these youth with specific solutions for relieving stress during these sometimes intense family occasions.
Session 8 – Picture This
Surviving the present time is often the only focus of today’s youth. Designed to spark the imagination about their futures, this session guides students to the understanding that they do not have to put dreams on hold due to a parent or other family member being imprisoned. Through creative outlets, kids cultivate dreams and goals for their futures. “Is there any reason you cannot accomplish this?” is the question wrestled with, as leaders assist in identifying steps needed to pursue and achieve each person’s dream.
Session 9 –Tell It Like It Is
Growth and progress should be celebrated in life, and we practice that philosophy in this festive session. Through various forms of feedback, both prearranged and spontaneous, students share their thoughts and feelings about what they have learned and how they are using the tools introduced in these sessions. In the midst of refreshments and reflections, individual Certificates of Achievement are also awarded to each participant.
Questions? Call Extended Family Executive Director Laure Clemons at 256-927-7997
© 2008 Extended Family, a support system for families of prisoners
The material in Extended Family for Kids is the property of Extended Family, a support system for families of prisoners, and cannot be reproduced without written permission.